It’s not always the kids (Part 1 of 2)
By JD
This will be a two part series exploring the different aspects of parenting that can contribute to a child’s sense of identity in their development. Youth are very impressionable and while every parent for the most part want the best for their offspring, sometimes our own dysfunction can get in the way of that rearing. This post will focus on concepts within psychology that relate to the feminine aspect of rearing and by any means is not prescriptive but rather a descriptive aspect. Other factors may be absent or present aside from these two psychological concepts presented.
The devouring mother archetype is a psychological concept that describes a mother figure who is overprotective and controlling, and who may stifle the growth and independence of her child. The concept of the devouring mother was first introduced by psychologist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung in his theory of archetypes, which suggests that there are universal patterns of behavior and symbols that are present in the collective unconscious of all humans.
The idea of the devouring mother is often associated with the concept of enmeshment, which refers to a dysfunctional pattern of emotional closeness between a parent and child, where the boundaries between them are blurred and the child may feel suffocated or unable to develop a sense of self.
The archetype of the devouring mother can manifest in different ways, such as a mother who is overly critical, controlling, or possessive. It can also be seen in mothers who are overly concerned with their child's well-being and safety, to the point of preventing the child from exploring and taking risks.
It is important to note that the concept of the devouring mother is not meant to pathologize mothers or blame them for their behavior, but rather to understand the psychological dynamics that can arise in parent-child relationships. Therapy and counseling can be helpful in addressing the impact of the devouring mother archetype on individuals and helping them to establish healthy boundaries and relationships.
The next concept to explore is a mechanism that can lead to physical harm sometimes. While the next aspect can happen in men, this next psychological condition predominantly happens with mothers.
Munchausen by proxy (MBP), also known as factitious disorder imposed on another (FDIA), is a psychological disorder in which a caregiver, usually a mother, intentionally fabricates or exaggerates symptoms or medical conditions in a child or dependent adult in order to gain attention or sympathy for themselves. The term "Munchausen by proxy" comes from the name of a literary character, Baron Munchausen, who was known for telling tall tales.
MBP is a form of child abuse that can cause serious harm to the victim. The caregiver may subject the child to unnecessary medical tests, treatments, or surgeries, or may even cause harm or injury to the child in order to create or exacerbate symptoms. The caregiver may also lie to medical professionals and other caregivers about the child's medical history, symptoms, or response to treatment.
The exact causes of MBP are not fully understood, but it is believed to be linked to underlying psychological issues in the caregiver, such as a need for attention, a desire to feel important, or a need to control others. MBP can be difficult to diagnose, as the symptoms may be inconsistent or may disappear when the caregiver is not present.
https://www.verywellmind.com/munchausen-by-proxy-5071840
Treatment for MBP typically involves removing the child from the caregiver's care, as well as therapy for both the caregiver and the victim. In severe cases, legal action may be taken against the caregiver. It is important for healthcare professionals and caregivers to be aware of the signs of MBP and to report any suspected cases to the appropriate authorities.
If you feel you have a fractured or even toxic relationship with a caregiver, there are some steps you can take to start the healing process:
Identify the root of the problem: Think about what caused the relationship to break down in the first place. Is it due to a specific incident or a series of events that led to a breakdown in communication? Understanding the root of the problem can help you identify what you need to work on to fix the relationship.
Communicate: Try to communicate your feelings and concerns to your parent in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid blaming or accusing them and focus on expressing how you feel and what you would like to see happen in the future.
Listen: It's important to listen to your parent's perspective as well. Try to understand their point of view and be open to their feedback.
Seek support: Consider seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. They can offer an outside perspective and help you navigate the process of repairing the relationship.
Be patient: Fixing a broken relationship with a parent takes time and effort. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to rebuild the relationship and don't give up if progress is slow.
It's important to remember that repairing a relationship with a parent is a two-way street. Both parties need to be willing to work on the relationship and make changes to improve it.